I’m getting irritated. Yep. Irritated. As much as I hate talking on the phone, there are certain things that should not be sent in a text message or posted on Facebook in lieu of a phone call. Although there are arguments that sometimes even that isn’t personal enough for some news. For instance, no one wants to find out about the death of a friend or family member in a Facebook status. We get it…you were one of the first ones to know and your little poem about Heaven, loss and friendship is super moving, but can you please be kind enough to pick up your damn cell phone? I’m sobbing over my keyboard. Thanks.
Those are the severe cases of technology enabling bad manners. But this blog is about dating, being single and figuring out the clusterfudge that are relationships. What about this….are you familiar with the “what u doin” text? If you’ve been single sometime in the past two years, I’m sure you are. Let’s break this down. One, the sender of this text is probably in his late twenties and he doesn’t know how to compose a sentence. We have these things called grammar, punctuation and complete and correctly spelled words. If you’re not familiar, reach out to a third grade teacher, or even a third grader. Second, why are you sending this to me at midnight on a Tuesday? You’re barking up the wrong tree and if you truly want to spend time with me, somewhere other than a bed, reach out to me at a decent hour. I do have a job.
As I’ve said before, dating these days is all kinds of messed up. When was the last time you heard of a guy that actually asked a girl out to dinner…even crazier, he asked her a couple days ahead of time, on the phone or….wait for it…..maybe you should sit down for this…..he asked her IN PERSON!!!! I know, right? Crazy. I am completely aware that the nature of relationships is no more immune to evolution than any other aspect of this insane world we inhabit, but come on! Do you really want to tell your kids that you met their mother by sending her a booty text in the middle of the night? Definitely not. The days of courtship are over and I’m completely okay with that, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you at least make me feel like I’m more than an afterthought. And that’s what those texts do. For all I know it was a mass text, so essentially you’re throwing shit up against the wall and you’re seeing what sticks. Good luck with that.
You may be wondering what has inspired this little rant of mine. I probably have no one to blame but myself. I’m not exactly great at picking the winners, so to speak, so when I start dating or hanging out with a new guy it’s not much of a surprise that this shit starts happening. I actually thought this one could be different. I didn’t meet him at a club, a dirty bar, or at 1am. I was having dinner with a friend at 7pm and so was he. He’s 34, has a good job, great since of humor and a winning smile. That last one should have been the first red flag. There’s always reason to be wary if I’m attracted to him. It’s kind of a running joke with my friends…if one of them is seeing someone new and they want an opinion, it’s not uncommon for someone to say, “See if Kelly finds him attractive, if so, run for the hills.” I blame Cinderella and that whole Prince Charming mess. Damn charisma gets me every time. Anyway, he started busting out the “what u doin” text. It’s bad enough for a 25 year old person to do it, but 34?! That’s just ridiculous. Laziness is actually trickling up, it would seem. The good news is that I’m learning my lesson. I’m not falling for it this time because inevitably I’ll end up wasting too much of my time on someone that really stands no chance of lasting. He can keep sending those texts but it’s not going to get him anywhere. I suppose I could do him a favor and inform him of the error of his ways, but if he’s that big of a pansy that he can’t make a phone call or even text at a decent hour, he doesn’t deserve it.
Completely switching subjects, my best friend just got engaged. While the cynicism of some of my blogs might make you think that I’m not over the moon about this, you’d be wrong. They are absolutely perfect for each other and I am so excited about this I can’t even put it into words. She’s been my sister since the 7th grade so it wouldn’t be shocking if I was protective over her. But the bottom line is that he is her soul mate and I don’t drop that vomiting-inducing term often. Spend ten minutes with the two of them and you truly see what love looks like. They are why I haven’t lost hope, why I look at other relationships and shake my head (sometimes that means my own). There’s no shame in waiting for, not the perfect person, but the perfect person for you, and there’s certainly no shame in not lowering your standards for the sake of being in a relationship. So thank you Destiny, not only for being my best friend, for making me laugh, for holding my hand while I cried, but for showing me one of life’s most important lessons; love is real and it’s worth waiting for….and it doesn’t start with “what u doin”.
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