I’ve been keeping it pretty low-key lately; staying in on weeknights and going to my local go-to bars on the weekends. There’s one bar that is my absolute favorite, it has been since I moved here. We affectionately call it the Snug. It’s your run-of-the-mill bar, but we love it. The bartenders are awesome, they know us by name, and the drinks are cheap. It’s just a good place to go, and it certainly helps that it’s five minutes away from my apartment. It’s my bar. My exes…they know this. Not to get bitchy, but seriously, I got the bar in the “divorce” if you will. Maybe that’s a little severe, but I would tell them not to go on a Friday night around eleven because you can expect to see me. And that’s just what one of them did. I don’t handle awkward situations well; in fact, I run away from them like an Olympic track athlete. In this case, I did run and I did it fast, but it was just to the other side of the bar. I’m making progress, I guess.
The night started off great. The group got together for dinner for the first time in a while at Cheesecake Factory and we had an amazing time catching up, eating, drinking and laughing. After a couple hours we all went our own way. I, being my single self, was not ready to call it a night yet. I was just about to text one of my girlfriends when my old roommate called to see if I was up for a Snug night. Sold. As I was walking up to the bar, a guy was walking out, and ran back to the door to get it for me. I said, “Thanks,” but then he didn’t open it, he just held the handle and looked at me. “Are you here by yourself?” Really, dude? You couldn’t work your “charm” on anyone in the bar so you’re hitting on the stragglers walking in. “Nope, I’m meeting someone,” I told him. “Your boyfriend?” At this point, I’m getting irritated. Don’t keep me from my beverages or my friends. “No, actually, my friends.” I started to grab the handle anyways and then he said the absolute dumbest thing, “Are you sure you want to go in?” I’m not sure what my other options were, but apparently he thought one of them was leaving with him…a guy I met 25 seconds previous…outside of the freaking bar. I would really like to meet the girl that would have actually done that, because I bet she is a very special person who makes her mother proud on a daily basis. A real gem. I walked in and started looking for my friends. I looked in booths, up and down the bar, and then at the pool tables. Bad idea. I saw the ex’s best friend who looked like he’d seen a ghost. In a way I guess he kind of did, I haven’t seen either one of them in months. I didn’t even look to his right to see who he was with; I knew. I made a hard right and went to the other side of the bar where my friends were thankfully seated.
It’s funny. Those situations are awkward but they’re also really enlightening as far as how you react to them. And I don’t mean your conscious decisions following the dreaded run-in, I mean the thoughts that race through your mind and whether or not your heart jumps into your throat; the real truth-tellers. It didn’t and my thoughts were basically that that was not what I wanted to deal with on a Friday night. That’s pretty good as far as how you want these reactions to go. Five minutes later, I was chatting it up with my friends and I pretty much forgot he was there. I guess we can officially move that one into the “ancient history” file, and he can go to the Snug whenever he wants; apparently I just don’t care that much. Shared custody of the bar is hereby granted.
This past weekend, wasn’t about ex-boyfriends or new boyfriends, it was about fake boyfriends. As many people know, not all single girls are out on the prowl 24 hours a day looking for a boyfriend…shocking, I know. Sorry to burst the deluded bubble of anyone who thinks differently. Sometimes I just want to go out and have fun without being hit on. It would be great if there was some sort of indicator I could turn on or off, much like the sign on the roof of a Taxi Cab that says “On Duty” or “Off Duty.” There’s not, so sometimes we just have to deal with. And actually, that’s not just for the singles. There are those crazies out there who get a kick out of hitting on the taken ones too, even those who are married. They get all Gollum-like when they see that ring. I guess they like a challenge?
Friday night I just wanted to enjoy the company of my friends. It was my friend’s birthday so we all went out to celebrate. She and I stepped away from the group for two seconds when I noticed the guy who was slowly making his way over. I’m not a snob, he seemed normal enough and he was very nice (ie, not my type; I like them broody and with a lot of baggage as history would indicate). But I really just wasn’t interested. I’m not in a place right now where I’m sure I even want to be with anyone else. And that night just wasn’t a good night for it.
My roommate has been trying to train me for a while now to lie…to say I have a boyfriend when these situations arise. I’m not a good liar, so it’s taking a little bit of work to be convincing. After he told me I looked like Thora Birch (not the best line I’ve ever heard) he asked me if I had a boyfriend. “Yes, I do. He’s working tonight.” It was awesome; he believed me and I didn’t have to hurt his ego or feelings by saying that I just wasn’t interested. While I don’t love lying, I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with it in this situation. The night continued on and we all had a great time with just the group.
The thing is, being single is just that…being single. I think a lot of people confuse it with “looking to be in a relationship”. Sometimes that true, but a lot of times it’s not. Truthfully, the most important part of it all is just “being”. Way too much focus is placed on and deduced from one’s relationship status. Thanks a lot, Facebook.
On another note, I’ve really been enjoying this whole blog thing. I don’t post as much as I’d like, but if there were many more incidences occurring that warranted an entry, it could be seen as cause for concern. Every few weeks is often enough, but not enough to evaluate why these things keep happening to me (remember the date from Hell?). I would love to make it a little more interactive though. So if you can ever relate to anything I write about or agree or disagree with my take on things, I’d love to hear it. I am in no way claiming to be an expert on anything. The way I see it, I’m writing about what occurs as a result of being a single girl in her mid-twenties, and then offering my perspective and opinions on them. I hope to write again soon, God knows something is bound to happen that is worth sharing…I just hope not too soon.
